Leo’s Story

When they put Leo in my arms for the first time, I knew he would be a force of nature, he was such a beautiful baby, and I would continually be stopped by people commenting on his beautiful big blue eyes, always wanting a cuddle and inquisitive about everything I felt the luckiest mummy!

Despite his difficulties throughout the years, he grew into an incredible young man, I so admired his resilience navigating through primary and secondary school. He was extremely caring at times offering advice and a hug if I was upset. I was in awe of his intelligence. Always nicking cheese from the fridge, he only ever wanted to order Dominos in for his birthday and didn’t expect or want anything else, just the simple things in life, no fuss.

His journey through his last year was a tough one, but despite his deteriorating mental health and missing a year from school, with private tutoring he still found the resilience to sit his GCSEs and gain a place in sixth form, we were so proud of him as it took all the strength he had to get through. He had such a quirky sense of humour and would all make us really laugh at times.

I wish he could have recognised how gifted and loved he was and what exciting adventures lay ahead for him, but he just couldn’t see a way forward despite our very best efforts to help him, he needed professional help which we couldn’t give him, and watching him suffer without being able to console or reach him has left me utterly devasted, as a family we feel totally let down by the system and it has destroyed our lives.

I am absolutely heartbroken that I won’t get to see him grow older, to see him strive for his dreams and have more experiences. When Leo passed a part of me died with him, I will never stop being his mum I will always cherish the memories and look forward to the time I can hug him again, but for now living with his loss is beyond measure.

No child should feel like suicide is there only option and the trauma of how he died will never leave me. Leo is not just a statistic of suicide; he was a human being that deserved much more understanding and care from society.

Being autistic is not a negative it’s a gift and so much more needs to be done to change stigma and recognise that the neurodivergent community need to be accepted, embraced and accommodations need to be made to help them fit in, be understood and receive the care they need.